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The BBC In The Room

The BBC In The Room

BBC is explained using a variety of ways. To the non-kink-aware, it’s innocuous enough: British Broadcasting Corporation. For many years, they were the only game in town when it came to radio and television in the UK. To myself, and a particular Lewis Carroll fan out there in the universe, it’s the name of my computer: Big, Black Computer; fairly clear there as my computer takes up quite a bit of room and the NZXT case I bought for it is … well … quite black. Both descriptors are correct, though if you hear me talking about BBC here or on the phone, we both know I’m not talking about corporations or computers; I’m talking about cock. Big, Black Cock. Did that give you a little shiver? I bet it did, you little pervert! BUT, as we will soon find out, it’s not all equal.

How do you prefer your BBC?

This is where we get into the nuts and bolts. BBC comes with a variety of its own; not all cocks are equal. Admittedly, all BBC is vastly superior to your shrimpy white penis, but even with that, some are genuinely magnificent while others are simply better. I have known some men to have cocks that exceed eleven inches and are so heavy, it’s almost a cardio workout to give them a handjob, and I have also known men that are closer to nine inches (possibly even eight?!), but their cocks are … beautiful. I can’t say I have ever used that word to describe any of you, though I could be wrong. (and no, “cute” is not the same as beautiful) Some men are “cut,” or circumcised, while others are intact, and each of us has a preference for one or the other. I like the look of an intact man, and I can appreciate the sensitivity when I can roll his foreskin back and watch him shiver as your lips curl around that overly-sensitive head. You can’t tell me you don’t have the same appreciation for BBC; I’ve heard you moaning on the phone when we chat.

Is There Such A Thing As Small Black Cock?

In a word; no. Some are not as large as others, but there’s no such thing as a small one. Even if it’s eight inches, it still doesn’t qualify as being underwhelming, which is what I think of when I’m talking about small penes, such as yours. Even on your best day, you can’t measure up to a flaccid BBC, let alone compete with the big boys once they are erect. This is why YOU are the one on your knees, and not him. And that’s how it’s always going to be, end of the story.

If you’d like to discuss your desires, you know how to find me.

Pantyhose on a Dude

Pantyhose on a Dude

The other day, I posted about an exciting caller who introduced me to the idea of male lingerie. I relayed the story he told me about how he got started wearing pantyhose under his jeans, which involved a black-tie event for his company and his buying a tuxedo for the get-together. When he was finished purchasing the tux, the salesperson was talking to him about accessories, such as socks to wear and his bowtie.

Dress Socks

In the end, he told me about the salesperson convincing him that he couldn’t wear his regular socks with dress shoes (which is one-hundred percent accurate) and that he needed something thinner to wear. The salesperson brought out a pair of “dress socks” to demonstrate, which is when he commented on their similarity to stockings his girlfriend wears. The salesperson spent twenty minutes trying to sell him on “dress socks” to no avail, and it was on the drive home my client came up with an idea. He was passing a drugstore and he recalled thinking the socks felt like stockings, so he pulled in and went to the ladies stockings section. He confided in me that he was a tad overwhelmed with figuring things out from there and it was a sympathetic older woman who assisted him. Upon arriving at home, he threw the bag into a drawer and forgot all about it until the night of the event.


Several days later, the event was upon him and he ran home after sticking late at another jobsite. According to him, he rushed into the shower, grabbed the tuxedo from the closet and “almost” forgot about the knee-highs. When he grabbed the package from the drawer, he tore into it and realized he’d made an error. He tried putting the socks on as he would any other pair … and promptly put his thumb through the gauzy material. As you can imagine, that put a ladder of some size into the nylon, which rendered them unwearable. Figuring he would grab a pair on the way to the event, he finished dressing, slipped his feet into a pair of sneakers temporarily, and took a ride down to the local market. It was there he panicked. There were no knee-highs, only pantyhose. He ended up in a pair of control-top sheer black pantyhose, and that was the day his life changed. 

“My choices were to wear sneakers, pantyhose, or nothing. I knew I’d get annihilated in sneakers, and the idea of the blisters the salesperson warned me about wasn’t all that appealing. So I grabbed one of the packages and managed to figure out something close to what size I was supposed to be wearing. Managed to get through the checkout, rush back home to change, and get to the hotel before the event really kicked off. At first, I couldn’t concentrate on anything but that weird pressure on my cock from where the pantyhose were, but it faded as the night went on. Even started to feel a little good. It wasn’t turning me on so much as it was just … nice.”


“Next day I went back to wearing my regular jeans, but I noticed they didn’t feel quite the same. I couldn’t figure it out til I was sitting down to dinner a few days later and I noticed my girlfriend wearing stockings under her trousers. I asked her and she said she wore ’em because she liked the way they looked and felt. That ended up in a conversation between us that led to her encouraging me to wear a pair under my jeans the next day. And now, four years later, here I am. I’ve tried everything from panties to dresses; it’s not the dressing up that feels right, just the stockings. And it’s not usually so sexual but … well sometimes it is,” he informed me.

Shortly after that, we ended the call but I keep hoping to hear back from him again. The idea of a man that enjoys wearing pantyhose without the associated fetishes was such a new experience for me!

Masculine Lingerie

Masculine Lingerie

You giggled, didn’t you? It’s okay, I did too. After all, “masculine lingerie” makes as much sense to our society as “normal weirdo” or “intelligent dumbfuckery.” It’s a thing reserved for internet memes and half-whispered jokes in the locker rooms, or one of those strange things you see on Wish adverts. Or is it?
If I say “men in panties” I’d bet the first thing you think of is a sissy or a crossdresser. As a society, we have been conditioned to automatically assume anyone that has a Y chromosome wearing lingerie must be “gay” or a sissy. I’ll even go so far as to say I admit that was my assumption until recently. (Yes, your favorite Mistress can occasionally be mistaken; but never wrong). I recently had a call with someone who works in the trades as a foreman for a “mid-sized company.” And he turned what I knew on its ear.

Where It Starts

When we first started our call, as always, I asked a few pointed questions to get a feel for him and what he likes. At two minutes and forty-three seconds into our call, he announced as casually as I might say I’m going for a coffee, “I put on the wrong stockings under my jeans this morning, and I need a little relief to get through the rest of the day.”
“I’m sorry. The ‘wrong’ stockings?”
“Usually I wear control top pantyhose under my jeans because I like the feeling without having to worry about my dick moving around too much. This morning, I was running late, and I put on a pair of sheer-to-waist as I ran out the door. Now my junk is bouncing around in my stockings, and I’m hiding out on the top floor of a building that is being constructed around me.”
Keep in mind, he was half-laughing as he said this, but he was quite serious. He was in a tool closet while his team was on lunch, and he’d stripped his jeans down to his ankles (Ma’am, these boots are a bitch to get off and on even in my own house, and I have about one-eighth of the space in this closet that I have in my bedroom).

Pantyhose for Dudes

Needless to say, it didn’t take very long for him to reach a climax considering he’d spent the better part of six hours being cockteased by stockings. Normally, that would be the end of our conversation, but he took the time to thank me for not being “weirded out” by his wearing stockings. I assured him I speak to many men who love to wear lingerie, and that’s where he took me on a sidetrack. I asked him about how he got started wearing stockings, expecting to hear a story of a childhood curiosity or a cruel ex-girlfriend. Instead, I found myself talking about a black-tie event.
“A few years ago, my company won a fairly large contract, and we were celebrating its completion with a formal party. Complete with the penguin suits, free champagne toast, and an open bar. Shocking as it may be,” he began, chuckling a little under his breath, “I don’t actually own a tuxedo. But seeing as I’m one of the bosses, I figured I’d do it up. So I went to a Men’s Warehouse in the mall and asked about buying one. The guy in the store helped me pick something out that I liked the look off, and he was taking measurements and gettin’ real personal with my ins and outs. But he was cool and had me laughing the whole time. Anyway, so we finally finish measuring, I head out, and he tells me when to come back for the suit.
“When I went back, I tried the suit on and it was good. At least, he said it was good, and one of the other people in the store commented. I was happy. I’m going to take it off, and he starts asking me about shoes and what I’m wearing with the suit. Ten minutes later, he’s got me sitting in a chair, and I’m holding a pair of nylon socks. The first thing out of my mouth is something about how they feel like my girlfriend’s pantyhose, and he starts laughing at me. Tells me they are “pantyhose for dudes,” and I need to wear them with my new dress shoes.”

Read up on Saturday for the rest of this story …

Cock Stroking 101 – Basic Equipment

Cock Stroking 101 – Basic Equipment

Stroking your cock doesn’t require much equipment, at it’s most basic. If it did, you wouldn’t have been doing it the same way for so long! But what happens when you get tired of just doing the same old way? Some of you explore new techniques; others read up on enhancing your fantasies. And some of you … well, you get “stuck.” Follow this checklist to improve your next jerk-off session (or bring some of these items to your next guided masturbation call!). To coin a phrase, “Something tried, something true, nothing dried, Let’s screw!”

Slippery When Wet – Lube

Friction is everything, but sometimes it can be too much of a good thing. Finding a good quality lube to go with your cock stroking is one of the most critical pieces of the process that gets overlooked. You would be surprised how many of my callers tell me they’ve never tried lube, and less amazed by how many of them then come back and tell me how amazing the difference is once they’ve tried it.

Several years ago, Men’s Health released an article on choosing the perfect lube for your penis. While their article was geared towards overall reasons to use lube, they did have a portion dedicated to masturbation. Their recommended lube is one I also put at the top of my list; Boy Butter. It’s easy clean-up, lasts a good, long while for those extended sessions, and has a reasonable price-tag. It’s also mostly chemical-free for those of us with sensitivities. If you don’t want to order online, you can always go to the local drugstore and pick up a mass-market product, but be aware of what you’re grabbing. Water-based lubes are easy to clean up, but they dry out surprisingly fast (I know … water that dries??), while oil-based lubes are just sticky and gloppy messes you have to be careful not to get onto anything. Silicone lube is nice, but again, they can get messy, so use them sparingly.

Get A Grip – Technique

gripSo you have the slick, now let’s talk about technique. I mean, sure, you can grab hold and go to town, but you’ve been doing that, and there’s a reason you are here. There’s more to it than just back and forth, up and down! When you place a call to your phone sex mistress (or do it on your own!) you can discover a whole new world of twist, turn, tug, and tighten. Did you know you can get off just by rubbing the head of your cock? It doesn’t happen quickly, but the sensation is one you’ll never forget (okay so it’s technically a version of edge play. Sue me; I like teasing).  Sure, the up and down is easy, but with a little practice, so can some of the newer techniques. Ever try just using a few fingers, but increasing the pressure? How about palming the shaft while you pump your hips?

Clean Up – Aisle YOU

It never fails. The moment after you cum, you go to reach for something to clean up and … all you have is your underwear. Or a shirt you stripped off. Of course, you’re going to do laundry, but you’re never going to not think of that article of clothing as being “something you came on.” Do yourself a favor and grab a towel, a wet-nap, or even some tissue before the main event. It makes your life easier and saves you on laundry soap!


Rushing to Cum! A Handy Guide to Jerking Off

Rushing to Cum! A Handy Guide to Jerking Off

You’re always so busy running around, trying to get somewhere. You rush to get out of the house in the morning, hoping to beat the traffic. You rush through your day, hoping to put out one fire after another. Then you’re rushing to beat traffic on the commute home. Rush to get dinner ready. Rush to read emails before bed. Hell, most of us are in such a rush to get to sleep that we end up taking a little something to help … which only ends up in rushing the morning. I have even heard of a handful of you rushing to jerk-off so you can get through to the next thing on your list. Can you imagine? Scheduling your self-love? We can’t have that! I’m a firm believer in making time for yourself; taking what opportunities arise and indulging in them as much as possible. This is why I enjoy guided masturbation sessions as much as I do! It not only forces you to enjoy yourself but allows you the opportunity to put someone else in control. The only thing you are responsible for at that time is obeying what your Mistress tells you and following my commands. Some of you might be a little confused as to exactly what goes into a guided session of jerking off, so this handy short post will hopefully help you to get a better understanding.

Jerking off? But I know how to do that already!

Technically yes, you already know “how,” but are you practicing? Just knowing how to do something doesn’t mean you’re actively participating. I know “how” to ride a bicycle, but that doesn’t mean I’m out doing so every day (bad memories of broken noses prevent me from ever being on two wheels). Jerking off is something that should never be perfunctory. There’s more to it than just the up-and-down stroking that most of my boys excel at; there’s more to your dick than the shaft alone! With a guided masturbation session, I can teach you different techniques that are designed to extend your pleasure and increase your desire.

What’s a little slap-and-tickle between friends?

Some call it “teasing,” while others call it “delayed orgasm.” Whichever term you use, it comes down to the same result; your orgasm being better than you have achieved on your own in a long time. With just a few words of encouragement (or enticement) I can help your cock to throb and ache to the point of distraction. Imagine the feeling of a warm hand, slipping down between your thighs and teasing her fingers over your shaft; the pressure and the delicacy combining to create an intensity you could never achieve on your own. The sound of my voice in your ear, whispering all the delicious things my fingers and hands are doing. The slow agony of your cock almost cumming, only to be delayed one more time …

I’m Mistress Ryan. I’m back, and we’re going to have a bit of fun together.