Cuckold relationships tend to be very black and white, so to speak. People have very definite feelings about their validity as both a lifestyle and as a kink. In the following few paragraphs, I’m going to explain what this lifestyle is from an outsider’s perspective, show the pros and cons, and shine some light on one of my favourite taboo subjects. Keep in mind, as you read, that I am a cuckoldress so my views may not line up with your own, but I welcome discussions in the comments as long as they are respectful.
What is a cuckold?
A cuckold is traditionally defined as being a man in a subordinate sexual position to his partner who is turned on by the idea or act of his partner having a sexual relationship with another partner. There is a female version of the same fetish, but the term used there is cuckquean. The concept is the same, and most of the underlying reasonings are similar, but somewhere along the way, we just go our own term.
There are a variety of reasons; some get off on the humiliation of not measuring up, others love watching their partner be with someone else for the voyeuristic aspect. Even within those two generalities there are subsections as well, such as the idea of being coerced into it by their partners, the racial undertones that can sometimes be associated with the fetish, the “surprise!” of finding out your partner has been cuckolding you all along, and even the added emasculation of feminization to add to their shame. It’s not just about the voyeurism (more than half don’t get to watch), but an underlying message of “You aren’t good enough.” For those who enjoy power exchange, that message is incredibly arousing. It instantly emasculates the man and continues to drive the point home with every instance of infidelity. It’s the real diamond being dangled in front of a Valkyrie … or the Twinkie on display in front of a kid that loves candy.
What kind of partner does this?
The kind that loves the man in their life, typically. Cuckolding is not about degradation so much as it’s a unique expression of love between two people. You have to have a stable relationship and a clear understanding of what each wants from the experience before you dip your toes in. This is not something for the average married couple looking to “spice things up.” Some couples try this and find it’s really not their cup of tea (some fetishes should remain fantasies), while others embrace it and take it on as their new normal. Female-led relationships are a cousin to this lifestyle and are sometimes spawned by an interest in cuckoldry.
So now you know … it’s romantic, but only to those that truly understand the dynamic. The only ridiculous thing is judging what someone else does in their bedroom.
Thank you for this Ms Ryan!
I enjoyed you fleshing out the subject of cuckoldry with a spotlight on the romantic aspect. It is difficult for many main stream folk to wrap their head around cuckoldry.
You touched upon a very good caution. Cuckoldry is difficult emotionally. Every relationship, ideally, should have sound communication, and understanding of needs and boundaries. These factors are paramount with cuckoldry and something I discuss when some come to me, looking to engage in a cuckolding relationship with their SO.
See you around the Empire!
Don’t you wish people could get away from judgement and labeling and just let everyone be? Cuckoldry can be whatever you want it to be. I think people get so wrapped up in what they read, what they see in porn vids and what other people tell them (MY way of doing kink is the ONLY RIGHT WAY). Cuckolding can be humiliating, it can be romantic – it can be both! Like you and Ms. Erika said, it’s all about communication and making sure all participants are getting what they want and need out of it.